Sue Scheff: How to talk to your kids about Layoffs

What a timely article by Parenting Expert, Dr. Michele Borba

By Michele Borba

I'm sure you've read those dismal reports about job insecurities: The U.S. unemployment rate is now at the highest level since 1993. In fact, more jobs were lost in 2008 than in any year since the end of World War II. We are stressed and worried and rightly so, but so too are our kids.

I've received a number of email queries lately from parents asking for guidance. Today's tough financial times are forcing many parents to answer very tough questions from their children.

"Why did you lose your job? Will we be able to eat out? What will I tell my friends? Will we still be able stay in our house? How can I go to college if you don't have a job?"

Parents tell me they are trying to avoid those heart-wrenching questions. They just can't face telling their kids they lost their job, may have to give up their house or can't go to college.

But keeping kids in the dark about something so serious as a job layoff is a huge mistake. First, children come equipped with built-in radar and notice those hushed conversations and pick up on your tension. They may even feel they somehow caused your stress. And hearing such an immensely personal family problem from anyone other than you is plain unfair and could well break down the trust between you and your child. Believe me, your children are far better off hearing this news straight from your mouth. Regardless of how difficult this is, the truth must be told.

So where do you begin such a tough topic as a job layoff or financial crisis to a child? Here are a few guidelines to get you started.


Prepare what you want to say. Doing so will help you feel more comfortable and seem less tense. And those are how you need to appear to your kids.

Be on the same page with your spouse. Your kids deserve to hear the same message from the two of you. Put those disagreements aside and put your kids front and center.

Find the least distracting time when all family members are present. Set aside enough time that allows your kids to ask as many questions as they need to ask.

Keep the explanation simple and age appropriate. Young children are literal so watch your terminology. "I lost my job," may make a kid wonder "So why don't you find it?" "I was fired" might mean someone is trying to shoot you. "I was let go" could be construed as why your friends didn't grab onto you tighter. Terms such as layoffs, recession, foreclosure, and downsizing confuse a teen. You might start with a question: "What have you heard?" or a simple explanation: "I don't have a job anymore so for a while we won't have as much money to pay for things."

Describe the potential impact on your family. Most kids' prime concern is how this personally affects them. So be honest and clear about any foreseeable changes. For instance: Dining out less. Not going to movies. More bag lunches. Less allowance.

Take their questions seriously. Answer each as best you can. You can always say you will get back to them with the answer. Take as much time as needed to talk about the situation.

Be prepared for any response. Some kids will shut down. Others might be angry or cry. This is not the time to discipline or try talking them out of their feelings. Acknowledge their pain, confusion, anger or hurt. Then tailor your response to their response.

Explain your plan and how you will look for new employment. Kids don't need a lengthy discussion so just briefly explain that you're seeking a new job and it may take awhile. Knowing that you have a "plan" (even if you have no idea what to do) helps kids feel secure.

Involve your kids so they feel they are part of the solution. Asking them for cost-cutting ideas to help your family reduce costs. For instance, mention that turning off the lights will conserve energy. Then ask them for other suggestions.

Keep the discussion going. A one-time talk won't be enough for your children to absorb what is happening. So let them know that you are available any time to discuss this or answer their questions.

Try to appear optimistic even in the worst-case scenario. Your children will be watching your behavior closely and take their lead from your attitude. Your aim is to give your kids the impression that you're confident everything will turn out for the best. (And that's even if you're a nervous wreck inside).


In difficult times it's often not what we say but how we say it that matters more. Children are usually far more resilient than we give them credit for. What they need most in any tough time is reassurance and security. Above all, they need to believe that you will get through these tough times together. Don't forget to take care of yourself especially during these times so you can take care of your kids.

Please pass on your ideas o how to help your children as well as your questions. I'm sure it would help other parents and I'd love to hear from you.

Follow Michele Borba on Twitter @MicheleBorba

Look for her new book - The BIG Book of Parenting Solutions!

Watch her on the Today Show here: http://micheleborba.ivillage.com/parenting/archives/2009/01/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about.html

Sue Scheff: Are you jeopardizing your job with social media?

Source: Baltimore Internet Examiner
By: Chip Dizard

Go to Chip's Home Page

You have heard the horror stories, last year, a North Carolina school district disciplined several faculty members for Facebook content such as personal photos and comments about students. Wired.com reported that an Associated Press staffer in Philadelphia was reprimanded for a Facebook posting that criticized his company.

According to Sharlyn Lauby, president of ITM Group, a human resources consulting firm says "If I can put up pictures of the kids, I can put up pictures from a meeting,". "If I can talk about a recipe I saw with my sister, I can put up an article about something I saw that's work-related. ... People are talking about you, whether you want them to or not. As a company, you need to think about how you want to be positioned."

Companies are now dealing with this dilemma because work and personal lives often collide. Many companies have resorted to blocking social networking sites due to lost productivity and network concerns.

The key for employees to know is that whatever you post online can be used against you. Employers are often checking your online profile as a condition of employment. I had a client recently come to me about a web site link , she consented to do an interview on a major cable network, but it was for a surgery she wanted to keep private. So when you googled her name her employees found out that she had cosmetic surgery. This was something she agreed to with the cable network and it couldn't be taken down. For those people who want to protect their reputation, there are a few companies that will do that for a fee. One that is very popular is Reputation Defender.

Whatever you do, just be wise and trust your gut, if it seems inappropriate it probably is, I always err on the side of caution, especially in the workplace.

Sue Scheff: Loving our children is easy - Parenting Teens is Hard!

Wow – if that title doesn’t ring true! We will always love our children, but we certainly don’t have to like their actions – which brings us to parenting teens is not easy. I am sure there are some parents that have teens that don’t give them some sort of stress, but I believe all parents must go through at least once that they feel they are at their wit’s end.

Connect with Kids is a website full of educational articles, video streams, DVD’s, and more. They do offer DVD’s for purchase – and offers you to build your own library. Read on! Also visit http://www.connectwithkids.com/ and read their fantastic parenting articles, from toddlers to teens – they have it all!

Loving your kids is easy. Parenting teenagers is hard.

Parents today face very real and sometimes frightening concerns about their children’s lives. As they get older, your kids have their own interests, problems, even their own language. So what’s the key to parenting?

You could buy a book…but your child probably won’t read it. You could search the Internet for advice, and ask other parents. Those are good options, but there’s one that’s even better for parenting teenagers: reality-based DVDs for kids and parents to watch and learn together. Parents don’t typically think of buying a DVD to help them with the issues their children or a problem teenager faces, but this is powerful positive television programming produced by the Emmy® award-winning Connect With Kids team.

Build Your Own Library

We have a complete library of half-hour programs devoted to parenting teenagers and kids, all related to social, emotional and physical health. These aren’t lectures or scare tactics strictly about how to deal with a problem teenager; they’re true stories of real kids facing issues like drugs, drinking, STDs, obesity, racism, peer pressure, body image, bullying, and more.
These powerful stories are unscripted, unrehearsed and told in kids’ own words, so your children will easily relate to them without feeling defensive, embarrassed, pressured or talked down to. The kids’ stories are supported with interviews and advice from leading child specialists, health experts, educators and counselors.

Watching together is a great way to start talking with your kids. Each 30-minute video comes with a Viewing Guide with facts, suggested conversation starters and professional advice. To order, visit our products page.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Love: Something to take serious?

By Richard Hills
Examiner.com

I was 17 when I had my first “real” girlfriend (yes, yes, I was a late bloomer). But in fairness that is not to say that I hadn’t fallen in love before that; what many would have called ‘crushes’. Now, as a father, I get to watch this all unfolding in front of me again with my three daughters.
To prepare writing this article I was looking for some background data on teenage love, or relationships, and while there is a ton of information out there, it was not the sort of thing I want to address here.

The scenario: I’m in the car to pick up my teenage daughter from middle school. When she gets into the car, she’s simply beaming. “How did your day go?” I ask, “Ohhhh daddy, I met this boy today and …” 30 minutes later as we arrive at home she’s still talking about him. Teenage love; do we take it seriously?

According to all the information out there on the internet, we’d better take it seriously; STD’s, teen abuse, teen sex, teen pregnancy – a plethora of information to make any father lock up his daughter in the top room of the tower and throw away the key!

But these are not the issues I wanted to talk about today. Not that they are not worthy of discussion, they are. I’ve talk about some of them already in past articles and I’ll discuss others later. But today I just wanted to talk about the feelings of love. When your son or daughter comes to you with that silly doe-eyed expression talking about love, what is our first reaction as parents? I’m sure the issues listed above come into mind, but often I think the thought of “puppy-love” comes into mind. “Oh darling, you’re too young to know what real love is”. If you are thinking that let me recommend to you that those words NEVER leave your mouth in front of your child.

Childhood love is an expression of Self. It is a display of much needed independence and moral growth at this age of development. We as parents should not minimize this in the eyes of our youth, in fact I believe it should be encouraged. David Richo, noted psychologist and author often writes about the 5 A’s (attention, affection, appreciation, acceptance, and allowing). These are attributes that we need fulfilled from a very early age. These later, in healthy relationships become the attributes that we desire to give. But we’ll never be able to give them if we never got them from our parents. So, when your teen comes to you in love, don’t dismiss those feelings as ‘puppylove’, or “you’re too young to understand” – trust me, to your teen, YOU don’t know what you are talking about.

In my research I did find an interesting article / study about teenage relationships. This study found our teenage boys have much more feelings then they are normally given credit for. I shouldn’t be surprised (having been one of those boys) – but I am a father of daughters now and the perspective is very different. If we take away our children’s love when they are young, what exactly will they have when they are older adults? It is real love, and should be treated as such. In our experience we know, just as she came bouncing to the car expressing her love, one day she will come running to the car in sorrow and pain over a lost love. Let us, as parents be there both times; first to celebrate… then to commiserate with our child’s healthy growth.

For more info: David Richo

Sue Scheff: An advice columnist reveals the perfect Father's Day gift

By Ellen Warren

A dad with no hobbies? No problem. I've got the perfect Father's Day gift suggestion. How perfect? Glad you asked. It's free. And it is almost guaranteed to bring tears to his eyes.

It's the gift of your time. If at all possible block out some time to spend with Dad, just the two of you. Tell him you don't want to share him with anyone. No Mom. No siblings. No grandkids. Maybe it's just watching a ballgame together on TV.

As for the happy tears part, that too is going to take some time -- to think about what he really means to you, then telling him so in a handwritten note. Sure it's a lot easier to buy a card and sign it "Love, Your Daughter or Son," but I'm urging you not to cheap out emotionally. Instead, recall -- in specific detail -- your favorite memories, what your dad has meant to you and done for you that you especially cherish and appreciate. Trust me on this: It will be the best Father's Day ever -- for both of you.

Shop, drop, ask for help Yearning for a friend -- only better -- to tell you what to choose, where to look, how to get good value? Now you've got an angel on your shoulder. Send questions to answerangel@tribune.com .

Sue Scheff: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace....What?

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace...What?

Tips for Parents - Talking to Your Teens About Social Networking

NEW YORK, June 1 /PRNewswire/ -- MS -- It's no secret young people growing up today are more technologically advanced than older generations like the Baby Boomers. In those days, communicating with friends was done primarily by talking on the telephone, writing a note or speaking face-to-face. There was no e-mailing, text messaging, IM'ing (instant messaging) or posting comments on each other's personal Web pages.


(Photo: http://www.newscom.com/cgi-bin/prnh/20090601/NY24516 )


In schools today, instead of just passing notes, students can send text messages on their cell phones and communicate online with their bff (best friends forever) or with people they don't know, and this makes it difficult for parents to monitor their child's online activities. In addition to e-mailing and text messaging, communicating via social networking sites is becoming more common for both older and younger generations. In fact, in January 2009 Facebook alone reported that they had 150 million active users. In addition, according to Common Sense Media, 55 percent of teens have an online profile on social networking sites like Facebook or MySpace.


"Social networking sites can be great resources for staying in contact with people, reconnecting with old friends, meeting people with common interests, and getting questions answered, but unfortunately not everyone who uses the Internet and social networking sites has honest intentions," said Jay Opperman, Senior Director of Security and Privacy at Comcast.


What does this all mean? It means that parents should: 1) become familiar with online social networks like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and MySpace; and 2) talk to your children about the importance of being safe and smart while communicating online.


Here are a few tips to keep in mind when talking to your teens about the Internet and social networks:


TIP 1 -- Choose your pictures wisely: Pictures can say a thousand words. If you decide to post a picture of yourself online, be very cautious about what you post.


"Do not use a picture that will embarrass you five years down the road because even if you delete the picture, it will never go away. What goes online, stays online," said Opperman. "Think about these questions: If I post this picture, could it prevent me from getting a scholarship or a job in the future? What if the person or persons I share my picture with, shares it with others?"


TIP 2 -- Don't talk to strangers and use privacy settings: Sometimes people aren't always who they say they are and the Internet provides an additional means of being anonymous. Remember, everyone in the world doesn't have your best interests at heart and some people are looking to prey on children and teens online. Social networking sites have privacy settings so you can control who can see your personal page. The settings can't protect you 100 percent, but they are helpful so make sure you set up a privacy setting so only your friends can see your page.


TIP 3 -- Keep your personal information personal: Don't share personal information such as your last name, parents' or siblings' names, phone number, address, social security number or where you like to hang out. People with dishonest intentions can use this information to find you or steal your identity.

TIP 4 -- Don't be a cyberbully: Don't bully people online or in person. You wouldn't appreciate a schoolmate or even a stranger posting embarrassing or harassing information about you or threatening you online so don't do that to someone else. Online, this is called cyberbullying, and now more and more states are passing anti-cyberbullying laws.

TIP 5 -- Go outside and stay active: Technology is fascinating and it keeps us connected in so many ways, but don't let the Internet disconnect you from other things that are important in life. Spend time with family and friends in person. Walk the dog, learn how to play an instrument, get involved in sports and other extracurricular after-school activities. Real life connections with family, friends and those most important to you should be one of your top priorities.

For more Internet safety tips and resources visit www.comcast.net/security .

SOURCE Comcast Security

Sue Scheff: Trolls Exposed: What kind of troll is disrupting your online community?

By: Dave Stancliff/For the Times-Standard
Posted: 05/31/2009 01:27:12 AM PDT

Don’t feed the trolls.

You know the ones I’m talking about. They prey on news forums, chat rooms, and other online communities. Their purpose: to disrupt any conversation or thread, and to get an emotional response from some unwary person. Ignoring them and not responding to their posts is your best option.

What kind of people are trolls? They’re cowards. Lonely cowards. Their posts seldom show any real imagination and often resort to childish name-calling.

Trolls are often extremely pedantic and rarely answer direct questions. There are some exceptions, but most aren’t smart enough to make a reasonable argument. They’re not interested in reason. They repeat themselves and say stupid, off-focus things to disrupt conversations.

Some trolls like to brag about their IQ. They try to come across like rocket scientists to lure the unwary and then pounce with a verbal attack. Trolls count the responses they get. It must be highly pleasurable for the poor creatures to count coups if they disrupt other people’s emotional equilibrium.

Trolls call it “Lulz,” a corruption of “LOL” (laugh out loud). Jason Fortuny is the most famous troll in America (using his real name in an interview). He was interviewed in the New York Times on August 3, 2008. This article is the best read I’ve found on the subject of trolls.
Fortuny’s passion for “pushing people’s buttons” made him the most prominent troll on the Internet according to the Times. He managed to thoroughly embarrass a lot of men with his infamous “Craigslist Experiment” as described in the Times article.

Like many trolls, Fortuny claims his pastime is just a big joke, a social experiment. He lives alone, spends countless hours anonymously insulting people, doesn’t have a full time job, is 32 years old, and brags (to anyone who will listen) about being a troll.

For all of Fortuny’s faults, no one has ever accused him of murder, like the woman in the Megan Meier cyberbullying case.

The suicide of a teenage girl highlights another type of troll. A deadly troll, sometimes called a cyberbully, took on a fake identity and seduced a vulnerable girl in MySpace. When the troll was sure she had fallen in love with the fake identity she (this woman posed as a man) broke up with the girl and said terrible things to her.

It was more than Megan Meier could stand and she killed herself. The warning is clear here. You never really know who you are talking with on the Internet, especially in online communities like FaceBook and MySpace.

For a guide on trolls go to flayme.com, which offers an Intelligence Test for Trolls. For an insight into cyberbullying check out the book “BullyBaby: Portrait of a Cyberbully,” by Andrew Heenan. “Dealing with Internet Trolls,” posted on lockergnome.com on April 17th, 2009, is another good information source.

Legislating cyberspace to go after trolls isn’t feasible in my opinion. The web is a new frontier for freedom of speech and I don’t want to see that changed by Orwellian laws that make it a crime to hurt someone’s feelings.
So what do you do about trolls? Recognize that they are part of the Internet community and will be there as long as there are lonely misfits and people who have trouble communicating in the real world.

They crawl through cyberspace seeking to create chaos. It gives them a sense of power when they feel powerless in the real world. They get to say things they’d never dare say to people directly. At best, they are lonely cowards. Ignore them and don’t let them spoil your use of the Internet.

Trolls are not hard to spot. For example, go to an online newspaper community like the Times-Standard’s Topix Forum. In no time, you’ll begin to recognize some names posted in every topic. Realizing this, trolls will sometimes change their identities, but their repetition and negative comments generally “out them” to an aware community.

There are also paid political trolls. They actually get paid to surf through online communities and disrupt meaningful conversations while touting their party line. Both Republicans and Democrats are guilty of this underhanded practice.

As It Stands, there’s really only one practical way to deal with trolls: don’t feed them!

Dave Stancliff is a columnist for The Times-Standard. He is a former newspaper editor and publisher. Comments can be sent to richstan1@suddenlink.net or davesblogcentral.com.

Sue Scheff: Teens and Texting

Teens and Texting

By Jennifer Wagner





Text messaging is not the devil that many parents think it might be. Especially since many mobile carriers lately offer plans that include unlimited texting, it is no longer the financial drain it used to be.



Here are some of the reasons to embrace text messaging:



A report on a study in the British Journal of Developmental Psychology confirms that text speak does not hurt kids language skills. "Text speak (or, rather, TXT SP3EAK) not only doesn't harm literacy in children, researchers have found, but its use is actually positively correlated with their language and reading skills."



In the book Txtng: The Gr8 Db8, the author David Crystal argues that not only does texting not hinder language skills, it actually helps them.



The New York Post article Your mama's so tech-savvy, she loves to text message... with her mom by Lauren Johnston interviewed many moms of tweens, teens and twenty-somethings. She found that once these moms began texting they greatly increased their communication with their kids. (I was one of the moms interviewed).



If you have kids that text and you haven't tried it yet, have them show you how to do it. They will enjoy teaching you something new. It is much easier if you have one of the newer smart phones with a keyboard. You won't regret it.



For more info: Text-messaging with your Teens

Sue Scheff: Keeping Kids Safe Online

The importance of family internet safety education and etiquette is often overlooked by both kids and teenagers today. While most teens are more ahead of the curve than most parents when it comes to the internet, they may not have the knowledge to help keep them safe from online dangers and its potentially negative effects.





On behalf of Girl Scouts of the USA and Microsoft Windows, I have been asked to to introduce you to a new initiative called “LMK (text-speak for “Let Me Know,”) which provides parents and girls with resources catering to both generations, and whose goal is to bridge the digital gap between parents and teenagers. On http://lmk.girlscouts.org/, the girl-targeted website, teens can find interactive quizzes, videos, and expert articles to be informed about online safety in a fun way! Girls can comment on the site content, sharing their thoughts, experiences and perspectives on topics many teens face everyday, like cyberbullying and social networking.





New content is posted periodically and will cover twelve different areas related to being a teen online today. Teens can even download an interactive patch they can share on social networking sites like Facebook, just by registering for the site at no cost. Best of all, it’s for all teenagers, not just Girl Scouts!

If you could, please take a moment to visit these sites, learn more about the initiative, and the wonderful resources found on both http://lmk.girlscouts.org/ , and http://letmeknow.girlscouts.org/ and hopefully this will help you help your teens!

When parents visit http://letmeknow.girlscouts.org/, they can sign up for the e-newsletter written and developed by a team of “LMK Teen Editors” who are sharing their knowledge about the ways teens use technology and help parents understand it all. Parents will have the chance to learn need-to-know skills to keep them up to speed with what their kids are doing online too. Expert advice is also offered to give guidance on tougher issues.

Sue Scheff: Girl Scouts of the USA and Microsoft Windows Launch Online Safety Campaign

Source: Press Release Today by Girl Scouts of the USA

NEW YORK, NY — 05/20/09 — Are you looking for new and innovative ideas that can help you get up to speed with online issues teens face every day? Maybe your teenager is looking for ways to get more involved with issues that pressure them online daily. If you answered “yes” you are certainly not alone. Girl Scouts of the USA and Microsoft Windows joined forces to create LMK (text speak for “let me know”) — an online safety resource where girls are the technology experts on subjects that are often best discussed at a teen-to-teen level, like cyberbullying, predators and social networking.

This girl-led campaign allows girls to share their online concerns with peer “tech-perts” about the issues that affect them while raising awareness about how to keep girls (ages 13-17) safe while surfing the Web. In addition, parents have access to a site specifically geared to their needs, equipping them with the tools necessary to understand and act on the rapidly changing world of online safety.

For most teen girls today, being online is part of a daily routine. Shannon, a member of the LMK editorial team, notes: “Now we have a chance to teach our parents a thing or two about the real issues we face every day.”

The campaign includes an interactive Web site for girls, as well as an e-newsletter and Web site for adults. Each month, the all-girl editorial board explores a different internet safety topic online and then shares what they learned in the e-newsletter which is distributed to adults the following month. The e-newsletter and parent site are designed to provide timely guidance and also serve as a tool to help families have open and honest conversations about the dangers that lurk in cyberspace. In addition, the girls’ Web site features forums, articles, quizzes, polls and a Question & Answer column from internet safety expert Parry Aftab. The program is open to everyone, Girl Scouts and non-Girl Scouts alike, as well as any adult who wants to learn about internet safety.


While the full scope of online threats, such as cyberbullying, are difficult to measure, we do know that nearly one in six U.S. children grades six to 10 is a victim of online bullying each year, according to the National Council of Juvenile Court Judges. Bullying is not “just a phase,” nor is it behavior in which “kids will be kids.” The repercussions of cyberbullying can be so grave that 14 U.S. states have passed or are proposing laws to make it a crime.

With detailed advice and information about online safety issues written by teen girls, this partnership between the Girl Scouts of the USA and Microsoft Windows provides resources for both teens and parents.

For more information, please visit the Web site for girls at: http://lmk.girlscouts.org/

Sue Scheff: Is Google God?

Source: Toronto Sun

More like Casebook

Social networking sites can sometimes make or break a case in court
By VIVIAN SONG, NATIONAL BUREAU

Be careful what you post on Facebook or MySpace, because anything you say or upload can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Last year, for example, an Ottawa court heard that a civil servant had started a clandestine affair with an old friend she reconnected with through Facebook during a messy custody battle involving three kids.

In a Vancouver courtroom last month, defendants in a personal injury case produced photos from the plaintiff's Facebook profile showing that while Myla Bagasbas was seeking $40,000 in damages for pain, suffering and loss of enjoyment after a car accident, she was still able to kayak, hike and bike post-accident.

"Facebook will be seen as a gold mine for evidence in court cases," said Ian Kerr, Canada Research Chair in ethics, law and technology at the University of Ottawa.

But it will also challenge the courts to further define the notion of personal privacy. In a precedent-setting case this year, a Toronto judge ordered that a man suing for physical injury in a car accident be cross-examined on the contents of his private Facebook profile. Justice David Brown of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice overturned a previous court decision that called the defendant's request to look for incriminating evidence a "fishing expedition."

The very nature of Facebook is to share personal information with others, Brown wrote, and is likely to contain relevant information about how the plaintiff, John Leduc, had led his life since the accident. But if Leduc's profile is private with restricted access, is that considered an invasion of privacy?

"The courts sometimes don't get it," Kerr said. "The tendency in judicial opinion and popular thinking is that once something is out in the public, there's no such thing as privacy anymore. But that can't be right because we all have curtains."

For Facebook users, those curtains are our privacy settings. If our home is our castle, Facebook should also be considered a walled domain, Kerr said.

For example, while a member may post pictures from a beer bash the night before, that doesn't mean they would take the same pictures to show off to their boss the next day, Kerr explained.

Likewise, in Murphy versus Perger, a judge ordered that the plaintiff, who was suing for claims of personal injury and loss of enjoyment of life after a car accident, produce copies of her Facebook pages showing photos of her engaging in social activities. In her judgment, Ontario Superior Court Justice Helen Rady wrote "The plaintiff could not have a serious expectation of privacy given that 366 people have been granted access to the private site."

But having 366 Facebook friends doesn't entitle the rest of the world to view personal information meant only for certain eyes, said Avner Levin, director of the Privacy Institute at Toronto's Ryerson University.

"It's not how many people you share it with, it's who you choose to share the information with," Levin said. "The judge is missing the point. What's important is not how many people are your friends, but who you choose to know you."

While we're able to compartmentalize and separate people in our lives offline by assigning titles to different spheres -- co-workers, neighbours, family -- the online world fails to recognize those distinctions, he added.

It's a habit that spills over in the job hunt as well. Employers admit they rely heavily on information they glean about a candidate from Google searches and networking profile pages. But it's an unfair screening process, Levin said, and attaches more value to people's online identities -- and sometimes third-party information -- than the candidate they meet in real life.

"We need to suppress that tendency to go on Google and look people up. There's already a process of hiring that works for them and has been working for years," Levin said.

While we're more likely to trust a direct source and treat gossip with skepticism in the offline world, the same can't be said of online information.

Pruning online identities and putting a person's best cyber-foot forward are services offered by companies such as DefendMyName, a personal PR service which posts positive information about a client and pushes down negative links in Google. ReputationDefender also destroys libelous, private or outdated content.

"A resume is no longer what you send to your employer," said ReputationDefender CEO Michael Fertik. "More people look at Google as a resume."

But instead of authenticating information found online, people are trusting secondary material and treating Google like God.

"What happens is in a court of law, you have to prove something beyond a reasonable doubt. On the Internet though, many decisions are based on lower standards," Fertik said.

But is sanitizing a person's online reputation of unflattering content an infringement of freedom of speech and freedom of expression?

"Only if you believe Google is the best and most accurate source of information," Fertik said. "But I don't think Google is God. I believe Google is a machine."

vivian.song@sunmedia.ca

Hazing

Source: Connect with Kids

“I think that hazing by nature is not necessarily a bad thing. It's when it gets humiliating or cruel or overly anxiety-provoking and it becomes a traumatic event, we have to get rid of that.”

– John Lochridge, Ph.D., psychologist

Fifteen-year-old Sean Butkus sees hazing as a pretty normal part of team sports.

“Hazing is a way of initiating a kid and seeing if they’re determined enough’ he says. “Just like, it’s like a test to see if you know they’re gonna be there for you.”

As a freshman, Sean joined his older brother’s soccer team this fall. So he knew what to expect from hearing about his brother’s experience.

“He got his head shaved” says Sean. “And I knew maybe that would happen to me. I actually got a Mohawk.”

Psychologist John Lochridge makes the point that not all of these ‘rites of passage’ are damaging. They were originally meant to bring a group closer together through some sort of hardship, but within certain boundaries.

“I think that hazing by nature is not necessarily a bad thing,” Lochridge says. “It’s when it gets humiliating or cruel or overly anxiety-provoking and it becomes a traumatic event, we have to get rid of that.”

A new survey finds that 45 percent of high school kids have been hazed: one in four was sleep deprived and 8 percent of the kids had to drink so much they either got sick or passed out.

“There’s just not enough supervisors to see what’s happening in every room – what’s happening in the bathroom, the locker room – there’s just so many places where so many things can happen,” Sean says.

Experts say the key is for the adults in charge to be proactive, to be alert, to ask questions and to make boundaries clear at the beginning of the year or the start of the season.

“There needs to be no sexuality involved and no abuse, no nudity, no humiliation – those kinds of things are above and beyond,” says Lochridge.

And coaches in particular can make sure they pick the right kids to be the team leaders.

It helps to have captains who are approachable, who are mature enough to listen to the new kids, Lochridge states.

“You want a relationship somewhere between the kids where the ones who are being hazed can go to the older ones and say, look, this is enough,” he adds. “It’s gone over the line. It’s getting inappropriate. And hopefully, the older ones have the wisdom to respond to that.”

Sean was lucky. His team captains were responsible and his experience was all in good fun.

“I mean, we still laugh about it,” he says. “I liked it.”

Tips for Parents

Hazing was created as a way to develop teamwork and unity among a group of individuals. It was also designed to “prove one’s worth.” While trust, devotion and determination are important attributes to possess, many organizations who participate in hazing take it to the extreme, turning it from a symbol of loyalty into a celebration of humiliation. Experts have developed a list of alternatives to hazing.

Plan events in which the whole group, team or organization attends (such as field trips, retreats, dances, movies and plays).

Participate in team-building activities (visiting a ropes course, playing paint ball, etc.).
Plan a social event with another group.

Develop a peer-mentor program within the group, teaming seasoned members with new members.

Work together on a community service project or plan fundraisers for local charitable organizations.

Hazing may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people. Students and parents may consider hazing a part of tradition, having fun or harmless pranks. But according to D'Arcy Lyness, a child and adolescent psychologist, viewing hazing this way only adds to the problem. It trivializes the actual dangers that exist in the act of hazing. There are steps, however, that parents can take to help prevent hazing, Lyness says.

Be educated about state anti-hazing laws (all but seven states have some sort of law applying to schools, colleges, universities and other educational institutions). Some schools – and states – may group hazing and bullying together in policies and laws.

Make sure your child's school and/or district has clearly defined policies that prohibit hazing, is taking measures to proactively prevent hazing from occurring and is acting immediately with repercussions when hazing does occur.

Ask your parent-teacher association and/or school administrators to invite a local law-enforcement official to speak to parents and/or the student body about hazing and the state's anti-hazing law.

Work with school personnel and student leaders to create powerful – and safe – experiences to promote positive alternatives to hazing that would foster cohesion in group, club and team membership.

Talk to other parents – especially those of upperclassmen and your child's sports teammates – about what their children may have seen or experienced. If you know that the problem exists at your child's school, you'll be better prepared to discuss it with your child, fellow parents and school officials.

Clichéd as it is, have the "if everyone else was jumping off the bridge, would you do it, too?" conversation with your child. Talk about why your child shouldn't feel pressured to participate in anything, even if "everyone else is doing it" or "it's always been done this way."

Talk specifically about hazing and what your child would do in a hypothetical hazing situation. Discuss how the group mentality sometimes can cause people to wait for someone else to do the right thing, stop something dangerous, speak out, etc. Discuss the topic in a way that doesn't lecture or tell your child what to think or do. Let your child know that often it takes just one person to speak out or take different action to change a situation. Others will follow if someone has the courage to be first to do something different or to be first to refuse to go along with the group.

Explain to your child that physical and mental abuse, no matter how harmless it may seem, isn't part of becoming a member of the in crowd or a specific group, and that it even may be against the law. Emphasize the importance of telling you and an adult at school whenever another kid or group of kids causes your child or anyone else physical harm.

If your child has experienced hazing, talk to school officials immediately. If physical abuse was involved, talk to your local law-enforcement agency. Though he or she may be unwilling or may feel uneasy about "telling on" peers, get precise details from your child about the incident – who, what, when, where and how.

Above all, maintain open communication with your child. Always ask what's going at school, what peers are doing, what pressures are present – physically, academically and socially. Encourage your child to come to you in any uncomfortable situation, big or small.

References
Kids Health
Stop Hazing
National School Safety Center
University of Maine

Sue Scheff: Parents At Their Wit's End

For many that have read my book - Wit's End! (Published by Health Communications Inc.) - which give my experiences with WWASPS and my daughters experiences with Carolina Springs Academy, it is a wake up call for all parents that are at their wit's end and desperately looking for help for their struggling teenager.
Are you worried or concerned about your teens recent behavior? Do you believe it is time for outside help? Local therapy is not working?

Visit my organization, Parents Universal Resource Experts, that I created to help educate you on researching for safe and quality alternatives for your family.

Are you considering these programs or talking to these sales reps?

Academy of Ivy Ridge, NY (CLOSED)
Bell Academy, CA (CLOSED)
Canyon View Park, MT
Camas Ranch, MT
Carolina Springs Academy, SC
Casa By the Sea, Mexico (CLOSED)
Cross Creek Programs, UT (Cross Creek Center and Cross Creek Manor)
Darrington Academy, GA (CLOSED)
*Discovery, Mexico - see below
Help My Teen, UT (Adolescent Services Adolescent Placement) Promotes and markets these programs.
Gulf Coast Academy, MS (CLOSED)
Horizon Academy, NV
Jane Hawley - Lifelines Family Services
Kathy Allred - Lifeline Sales Representative
Lisa Irvin (Helpmyteen) and Teens in Crisis
Lifelines Family Services, UT (Promotes and markets these programs) Jane Hawley
Mark Peterson - Teen Help Sales Representative
Majestic Ranch, UT
Midwest Academy, IA (Brian Viafanua, formerly the Director of Paradise Cove as shown on Primetime, is the current Director here)
Parent Teen Guide (Promotes and markets these programs)
Pillars of Hope, Costa Rica
Pine View Christian Academy (Borders FL, AL, MS)
Reality Trek, UT
Red River Academy, LA (Borders TX)
Respect Academy, NV
Royal Gorge Academy, CO (CLOSED)
Sherri Schwartzman - Lifelines Sales Representative
Sky View Academy, NV (allegedly closed?)
Spring Creek Lodge, MT (CLOSED) Rumors they have re-opened in another area of MT.
Teen Help, UT (Promotes and markets these programs)
Teens In Crisis (Lisa Irvin)
Tranquility Bay, Jamaica
Oceanside, CA - rumors of short term program there.
*There is a rumor a new program in Mexico is open - parents need to be aware of this. It is believed they have re-opened Casa By the Sea with another name - possibly Discovery. Another rumor that was heard is Jade Robinson is running this program - he was formerly at Horizon Academy, Bell Academy (closed) and Casa by the Sea (closed).

Do your homework!

Sue Scheff: Zig-zagging by Tom Wilson

New York, NY - (April 28, 2009) – The world’s ultimate optimist is larger than life. Now appearing through the end of June, in the heart of one of the business hubs of the world, Ziggy is shining down from the CBS Jumbotron Billboard in Times Square in New York City.

The Ziggy billboard, located at 8th Avenue and 42nd Street, is a huge monument of the major media marketing blitz that’s been happening for the launch of the new book, Zig-zagging: Loving Madly, Losing Badly – How Ziggy Saved My Life (HCI Books - $17.95), a memoir by Tom Wilson, Ziggy cartoonist.

Complimenting the billboard and a host of positive pre-release book reviews, and the viral video interview, Wilson has been receiving bountiful media exposure and praise regarding the new book. In addition to an in-depth personal interview that is appearing in a nationally syndicated newspaper article, Wilson has been on a nationwide book signing tour that started at the end of April. Along the way, Wilson is making several television appearances, stop-ins at radio stations, and participating in local newspaper interviews.

The tour will continue with several more city visits and signings leading up to the world’s premier publishing event, Book Expo America, held in New York City, May 28-30, where Wilson will participate in several autographing sessions.

The hype over Zig-zagging surrounds the chronicles of Wilson’s ability to provide the world with daily drawings one of the most inspirational characters in history, while coping with very traumatic periods in his personal life. In addition to being a moving story of a father and son, and the gift of the character they share, Wilson also reveals his struggles with depression over the loss of his wife to cancer at a very young age, and his life as a single father raising two young boys.

In this new memoir, readers have the opportunity to peek behind the scenes of an animated American icon. Zig-Zagging delivers a glimpse at the person who thinks up and drafts a cartoon strip and discovers how much of him is actually imbued in the character. Equally fascinating is witnessing the life of Ziggy from his inception at Tom Wilson, Sr.’s pen, to his current home on his son’s drafting table. Literally growing up with Ziggy, Wilson was unaware of the inspirational role that the character would play in his personal life.

Through the occasional appearance of Ziggy cartoons across the pages, the book deftly treats us to “comic relief” along Wilson’s sometimes-sad road.

Like Ziggy, Tom turns tragedy into a learning experience so he can move forward in his life with his two sons. Fans of the cartoon have been happy to learn that their illustrator’s outlook on life is in sync with his very own Ziggy.

Ziggy first appeared in newspapers in June 1971. Tom Wilson has drawn and written Ziggy since 1987, after the retirement of his father, the senior Tom Wilson , who first created Ziggy as a greeting card character. Now distributed through Universal Press Syndicate, a division of Andrews McMeel Universal , Ziggy is published in more than 600 newspapers, reaching 75 million readers daily, and maintains an online presence through http://www.ziggyzone.com/ and http://www.uclick.com/.

As SpokesCharacter for World Food Day, the Ziggy billboard will return to promote the cause on World Food Day, Oct. 16 th.

Video of Tom Wilson discussing the new book is available by clicking here.

Publishing Contact:Kim Weiss, Director of Communications, HCI Books, T: (800) 851-9100 x 212; KimW@hcibooks.com

Ziggy & Freinds, Inc. Contact:Greg Walsh, Walsh Public Relations, T: 203-292-6280; mailto:greg@walshpr.com
Tags: parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Sue Scheff: Florida Suicide Prevention Coalition

Today is April 22, 2009 which is Suicide Prevention Day at the Capitol is a statewide event in which the Statewide Office of Suicide Prevention and the Florida Suicide Prevention Coalition are joined by advocates, survivors, grassroots organizations, youth and other state agencies to bring suicide to the forefront as a public issue. This year, the actual day is Wednesday, April 22 but we are holding several activities throughout the week of April 20th - 24th. Below, you will find the tentative schedule of events, but I encourage you to continue checking our website for the most current updates as they become available.

(http://www.helppromotehope.com/events/index.php). Please see the attached flyer and Governor’s proclamation.

If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide, please reach out for hope by calling:1-800-273-TALK (800-273-8255)24 hours a day; 7 days a week

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS:

April 22, 2009 at 9:00 AM, Capitol Building Plaza RotundaEducational Display Booths and Legislative Advocacy

April 22, 2009 at 2:00 PM, Capitol Building Cabinet RoomSuicide Prevention Day Press Conference featuring:Director Bill Janes, Florida Office of Drug ControlSecretary George Sheldon, Florida Department of Children & FamiliesSenator Evelyn Lynn, Florida District 7

April 23 – 24, 2009; from 8:00 PM – 5:00 PM; Location TBAApplied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) (tentative)Don’t forget to also visit our portable billboard that will be in front of the Historic Capitol all week!

Please take a moment to post these events on your agency websites and forward on to your colleagues. We hope to see everyone there!

Sue Scheff: Stop Sexual Abuse, Assault and Rape - Help Create Awareness

As a parent advocate, I don’t only hear from parents, I hear from teens. Joni Poole is someone very special. Joni has possessed strength, dignity and courage through some horrific events. She is no longer a victim - she is a survivor and one that has a strong message to all others. She has created a website and advocacy group (Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault and Rape Awareness) to educate others and hopefully prevent sexual abuse and assualt. Take a moment to read her story and pass it on - you don’t know who may benefit.

Here is Joni’s story - and please read her website at http://www.saaraonline.org/:

My name is Joni Poole. I am a 17 year old Senior in high school. I am telling my story in hopes that it will help others who have been a victim of a sexual crime. I have also provided Public Information, from the Georgia Department of Corrections, about my offender within my story.
On August 22, 2007, I was at work at a Toy Breed Dog Kennel. Near the end of my shift, around 7:45 P.M., I was raped by my second cousin/co-worker/manager, Martin Malone Griffin. As soon as I could leave my workplace, I immediately began calling my mother from my cell phone. I drove about a mile down the road to her job. We then went to the hospital and had a rape kit performed. This began the process of pressing charges. From that moment on, the next year of my life would become a living nightmare. Investigators did not want to believe me. They told us that there was no way it was rape. Due to me turning 16 nineteen days prior (the assault happened August 22, 2007 and my 16th birthday was August 3, 2007) to the attack, Marty could not be arrested for statutory rape. DNA tests were performed and proved that the he was in fact the perpetrator of the crime. The magistrate judge would not give us a warrant for his arrest due to lack of evidence, so he said. Although by law, all that is needed to secure a warrant is probable cause. We had probable cause and DNA evidence, which was more than enough for a warrant. However, no matter what others said, I was not going to give up.

The day the Magistrate Judge told us there was no probable cause, we turned to the Assistant District Attorney. Much to my relief she wanted to help. She was enraged at how I had been treated by the Magistrate Court and decided to pursue the case. The case was brought before a Grand Jury. I had to testify and tell the Jury my account of what happened. This was extremely hard and embarrassing for me. The Grand Jury agreed to issue a warrant for his arrest. A few weeks later we went back to court for jury selection. The jury was chosen and trial was set for the next day. However, the original investigator hurt himself in an accident and would not be able to attend court. Therefore, court was rescheduled for September 22, 2008, 1 year and 1 month after the rape occurred.

Due to court being postponed, we had to pick a new jury Monday, September 22, 2008. Our case was possibly going to have to be postponed once again due to the two other criminal cases ahead of us. However, the two cases ahead of us plead out, therefore, our case was moved up to Wednesday, September 24. We began trial at 2:00 pm. on Wednesday. After opening arguments, it was time for me to testify. I was so scared and nervous.

I could not stand the thought of being in the same room as the man who had raped me. The questions I was asked were difficult and embarrassing to answer. I felt terrified, embarrassed, angry, and experienced many other emotions the entire time I was on the stand. I also had to stand in front of the Jury and show them a map of the building I had drawn to give them an illustration of where the rape took place. After the Assistant District Attorney asked me questions, it was time for me to be cross-examined by the Defense Attorney. He asked very difficult and sometimes confusing questions. However, I stood strong and did not let him shake me.

I kept my eyes focused on the Jury, my family and supporters, and the Assistant District Attorney. I did this because to look at Marty would cause to experience flashbacks of the rape. I was already weeping from the questions and having to remember and tell every detail. I did not need to have a panic attack. I can remember looking out into the crowd to my aunt and other family members crying. They were there in support of me, but they had never heard my full story. They did not expect me to be interrogated like I was that day.

After I finished testifying I was released and asked to return to the witness room. I felt satisfied with my testimony and so was the Assistant District Attorney. A few more people testified Wednesday and the case was put on hold until the next day. We began trial again the next morning. The last of the witnesses testified Thursday morning. After testimonies were finished it was time for closing arguments. The defense attorney called me a “liar” many times and said, “if my client is convicted based on a liar’s testimony, then we need to burn this courthouse down and plant a turnip patch.” He also tried to discredit me many times. After closing arguments the Judge told us to remain at the courthouse until the verdict was reached. She charged the jury. They were told what the charges were and the definition of each charge. He was charged with:

Count 1: Rape

…[Rape occurs when sex is non-consensual (not agreed upon), or a person forces another person to have sex against his or her will. It also can occur when the victim is intoxicated from alcohol or drugs. Rape includes intercourse in the vagina, anus, or mouth. It is a felony offense, which means it is among the most serious crimes a person can commit. Rape is a crime that can happen to men, women, or children.]…

Count 2: False Imprisonment

…[The illegal confinement of one individual against his or her will by another individual in such a manner as to violate the confined individual's right to be free from restraint of movement.]…

Count 3: Sexual Battery

…[A person commits the offense of sexual battery when he or she intentionally makes physical contact with the intimate parts of the body of another person without the consent of that person.]…

After charges were read, the Jury went to the Jury room for deliberation. Marty was offered a plea bargain of 1 year in boot camp, 10 years probation, and Sex Offender Registry. He was able to accept this verdict until the Jury came back with a verdict. However, he REFUSED this lenient deal, several times. After 2 and 1/2 hours the Jury came back with their verdict.
The Jury’s verdict was…

Count 1: Rape…GUILTY-

Count 2: False Imprisonment…NOT GUILTY-

Count 3: Sexual Battery…GUILTY

Contact Joni at jnpoole_2009@hotmail.com - her mission is to spread the word and help others.
You can join S.A.A.R.A. Fan Club on Facebook too! Help carry her message throughout the world!

Tweet - Tweet - Your Fired!

Source: ReputationDefender Blog

MSNBC and other mainstream media outlets have picked up on the Cisco Fatty story that involves a woman getting fired for her twitter post. Quoting from the page:

Why waste valuable social networking hours getting yourself “Facebook fired,” when Twitter allows you to humiliate yourself quickly, and in 140 characters or less?

A recent tweet by one would-be Cisco employee proves that when it comes to placing a permanent black mark on your resume via the Internet, Twitter is now the tool of choice. To illustrate, here’s the tweet the now Web-infamous “theconnor” shared with the world:

“Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work.”

It wasn’t long before Tim Levad, a “channel partner advocate” for Cisco Alert, shared this open response:

“Who is the hiring manager. I’m sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the web.”

Was “theconnor’s” job offer rescinded? Nosy netizens have yet to suss that out — but they’re doing their darndest to make “theconnor’s” life miserable in the meantime. It didn’t matter that “theconnor” almost immediately set his Twitter account to private and deleted all information from a home page. It was already too late.

Twitter is a great tool to connect people and ReputationDefender supports the emergeant micro-blogging platform. Users should be aware that potential employees are viewing online messages and that the material they post online can both help and hurt their online reputation.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Acne

By Johana Curtis (Licensed Skin Care Professional)

Teenage Acne Psychological Effects Can Be Severe

As a group that deals with troubled teens on a daily basis, we can see how particular issues unique to teenagers can exacerbate the already difficult time some kids have. Teenage acne psychological effects can be severe enough to cause depression and lower self esteem. Add this to all the other issues commonly found with difficult teens and the result can be problematic. However, there is a way to alleviate the issues surrounding acne in teenagers. Removing this issue can do wonders with a teenager’s self esteem and make it easier to relate to them, especially if they have other psychological issues.

In order to deal with the problem it is important to have some information on teenage acne. The first thing you should know about it is how it occurs. Once there is an understanding of what causes acne then it is easier to find ways to cure it. Teenage acne tips can help ensure the problem is lessened to an extent that it no longer affects the child adversely. Having healthy, clear skin can boost a teenager’s self confidence. Not being self conscious about their appearance will make a teen easier to help when they have problems resulting from other factors in their life.

So, why does acne occur in the first place? Many theories have been bandied about throughout the ages. Most of them, however, are myths and are actually not directly responsible for causing teenage acne. Clothing that is worn, working out excessively and certain types of food are not the root cause of acne. All of those issues may at times make acne worse than it normally would be but it is not the cause of the problem. The cause is simply a hormonal imbalance. Teenagers go through significant hormonal changes when they hit puberty as it is. An imbalance will bring about acne that can sometimes be severe enough to affect a teen’s appearance and self esteem.

If hormonal changes are the cause of acne, is there anything that can be done about it? Yes, there is. There are two basic ways acne should be treated in order to ensure a long term, positive effect. First, the skin should be treated. This is typically done via over the counter topical products. Teenagers should get into the habit of taking care of their skin. Purchasing scrubs, cleansers and lotions will suffice to begin a proper skin care regimen that should be used daily.

The purpose of the topical treatments is twofold. First, the teenager gets into a healthy habit of maintaining proper skin care that will last throughout their life. Also, acne that already exists will be cured more quickly and the skin will have a fresh, clean appearance in no time at all. The teenager will be pleased with the results and will have a better outlook about their appearance.

But, topical treatments are not the sole solution that should be explored. There should also be treatment for the root cause of acne, the hormones. In order to treat the hormonal imbalance it is necessary to use supplements. This will naturally restore the hormones to the proper balance, alleviating the acne problem and will prevent it from returning. There are many natural supplements available from health food stores and vitamin shops.

However, there are a few products on the market designed specifically to resolve the problem of teenage acne and include both topical creams and supplements. These products treat the problem from the inside out and are convenient to use because everything is sold in one package. These all inclusive products can be found in health food stores, in the skin care aisles of stores and are also available online. Most supplements are taken once or twice per day and the skin cleansers and creams are also used once or twice per day. This is convenient for the teen to use and makes them less prone to forget to use it.

A hormonal imbalance is the primary cause of teenage acne. Other factors may exacerbate the issue but that is where the topical cleansers come into play. The dietary supplements will treat the root cause of the acne, the hormonal imbalance. With proper treatment, a teenager can feel more confident about facing the other difficulties that occur with teens. Unfortunately, the teenage years can be difficult and sometimes more severe problems can occur.

A teenager who suffers from acne can exhibit signs of depression and withdraw from peers and adults alike. Curing acne can not remove all the difficulties teenagers must face on a daily basis but it can eliminate one of the issues that cause severe emotional problems and self esteem issues. If you understand how acne occurs and how to treat it, curing acne in a teen can be easier than it may seem.

Sue Scheff: Google Grows Smarter

March 25th, 2009

Source: ReputationDefender Blog

Yesterday it was announced that Google has gone all language-y on the web, updating its algorithms to understand not only the words being searched, but also the relationship between words. This is known as search semantics, and it is Google’s newest attempt to impress the web public with relevant search results.


Aside from the new word-relationship component, Google has also increased the characters devoted to summary paragraphs that attempt to pin down what people are searching for. In a recent blog post Google search quality team technical lead Ori Allon and snippets team engineer Ken Wilder wrote that the company “[is] deploying a new technology that can better understand associations and concepts related to your search. We are now able to target more queries, more languages, and make our suggestions more relevant to what you actually need to know.”


Heretofore Internet search services have focused on matching key words typed into query boxes with words at websites or in other online data. The newest generation of Internet users has caused a rise in demand for semantic searches that go beyond matching words to actually understanding what sentences or combinations of words mean. The trick, from a company stand point, has been whether or not adequate technology can be developed to process the increasingly complex searches with the high speed that Internet users have come to expect.


Not content with their current position behind Google in terms of search, Microsoft has recently stated that it is testing a Kumo.com semantic search engine. The hope is that the new search technology will be more popular than Microsoft’s current Live Search service, catapulting it beyond Yahoo! and Google.


As of Tuesday Google has rolled out semantic search capabilities in 37 languages. Some examples given by Wilder and Allon included a search in Russian for “fortune-telling with cards” which brought up search results for “tarot” and “divination.” Conversely, a Google search in English for “principles of physics” generated suggestions about “big bang” and “quantum mechanics.”

Sue Scheff: Parent Choices for Schools and Programs

Parent Choices

Local Therapy:

Local therapy is a good place to start with children that struggling at home and school. To locate a local therapist, it is beneficial to contact your insurance company for a list of adolescent therapists in your area. If you don’t have insurance when calling therapists, ask them if they accept sliding scales according to your income. Check your yellow pages for local Mental Health Services in your area or ask your Pediatrician or Family Doctor for a referral.

Military Schools and Academies:

Military Schools have been around for over a hundred years. Many parents are under the misconception that Military Schools are for at risk children. Military Schools are a privilege and honor to attend and be accepted into. Your child must have some desire to attend a Military School. Many children believe Military Schools are for bad kids, however if they visit a campus they may realize it is an opportunity for them. Many parents start with a Military Summer program to determine if their child is a candidate for Military School.

Military Schools usually do not offer therapy, unless contracted on the outside of the school. They offer structure, positive discipline, self-confidence, small class sizes and excellent academics. Military Schools can build a student’s self-esteem; motivate them to benefit their future both socially and academically.

Traditional Boarding Schools:

Traditional Boarding Schools are like Military Schools, in which your child will have to want to attend and be accepted into the school. There are many excellent Boarding Schools that offer both academics and special needs for students. Many specialize in specific areas such as fine arts, music, and competitive sports. In most cases, therapy is not offered unless contracted on the outside.

Therapeutic Boarding Schools (TBS):

Therapeutic Boarding Schools offer therapy and academics to students. Usually the student has not done well in a traditional school and is making bad choices that could have an effect on their future. Although many of the students are exceptionally smart, they are not working to their ability. Sometimes peer pressure can lead your child down a destructive path. Removing them from their environment can be beneficial to them to focus on themselves both emotionally and academically.

Christian Boarding Schools:

Christian Boarding Schools and Programs for struggling teens offer therapy and academics. They have a spiritual foundation that can assist a child to better understand Christianity as well as bring them closer to a Higher Power. Many offer Youth Groups and activities that can create life skills for a better future. A program with a Christian setting may enhance a child’s better understanding of the world today.

Residential Treatment Center (RTC):

Residential Treatment Centers, similar to a TBS, offer therapy and academics. However Residential Treatment Centers are for children that require more clinical support. Their issues are more specific with substance abuse, eating disorders, self-mutilators, and other behavioral issues.

Summer Programs:

Summer programs are a great place to start if your child is beginning to make bad choices or losing their motivation. Finding a good summer program that can build self-confidence can be beneficial to student’s prior starting a new school year.

Sue Scheff: ReputationDefender Michael Fertik Featured in French Press

Courrier International has a nice piece about Reputation Management, Michael Fertik and ReputationDefender.

The article is in French, but speaks to the emerging industry that ReputationDefender pioneered, Online Identity Management.

Interested readers who do not parlez francais, can check out Babelfish to get the international buzz on ReputationDefender.

Sue Scheff: Slimed Online? New Book Google Bomb!

Yesterday my co-author, John Dozier and I, announced our exciting new book that will be released in fall 2009 from Health Communications, Inc. Then I read this article that I could really identify with. Slimed Online from Portfolio.com.

Michael Fertik, CEO and Founder of ReputationDefender, was powerful force in helping these women fight for their online image. As a client of ReputationDefender, their services are priceless - although there seems to be many of these services popping up now, as the demand grows, I feel that in my experiences, the pioneer of these online reputation management companies start with ReputatationDefender.

Our new book, Google Bomb, will be a must read for anyone and everyone that works and plays online. From protecting your online profile and reputation, to keeping your kids safe, this new book is a must have - and can potentially help you from being a victim of wicked and evil keystrokes.

Years ago gossip was limited to a geographically area that you live in. Today gossip goes viral worldwide! Your one former friend is now a foe or a few clients out of years of a reputable business have decided to take revenge via e-venge! Take cover, Google Bomb can help you protect yourself.

Sue Scheff: Don't Let the Web Kill What you Love

By Michael Fertik

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.”Warren Buffett said that, before the invention of the Internet.Now, in the information age, the statement has never been more truthful.That is why I started a business, ReputationDefender, that is all about protecting reputations.Your good name, and the reputations of your family, business, and everything you love, is valuable.

So, when your neighbor, a customer, or a love interest plugs your name into a search engine, what will they find?

Anyone can come along and slam you online and if that happens, search results for your name might be dominated by negative, incomplete, or even false information.

A hostile online comment might represent the uncommon experience of a dissatisfied customer or disgruntled neighbor, but due to the structure of search engines, that single opinion can be greatly amplified and made to look like a universal point of view.

You might fall victim to the sniping of an anonymous blogger or even a competitor posing as an angry customer.

It’s not only easy to publish half-truths, innuendo, and falsehoods on the Internet, it’s also easy to make them stick. Many people who publish negative web content know how to make it maximally destructive.

Lies, rumors, or memes take flight easily, getting repeated, added to, and generally magnified.

Even though some of these narratives are discovered to be false, very few of them get debunked as loudly as they are broadcasted in the first place.As a result, false content often becomes more visible on the web than, say, well-researched articles from reputable news sources. It might seem illogical that bogus speculation can end up dominating searches for you, but that’s how a rumor mill works.A great strength of the Internet is that it gives everyone a voice.

That’s also one of its dangers: it can endow fraudsters and idle speculators with the appearance of authority.

The danger is real. This does not mean you should stop using the Internet.It means that you must proactively establish your accurate and positive presence on the web before there is a problem.

You need to maximize your control over what people find about you, before someone else does it for you.There are options. Companies have developed software solutions for online reputation protection.

ReputationDefender, which is now a partner with TheStreet.com network, is my company, and we do just that.

Michael Fertik is the Founder and CEO of ReputationDefender, the online reputation management and privacy company.

Sue Scheff: Bullying - learn more at free Webinar

Bullying is part of your child’s life – find out how to reduce it in your neighborhood, at school, and online.

Education.com and the American Association of School Administrators (AASA) invite all parents to participate in a powerful and free web seminar that will reveal common myths surrounding bullying, the real facts, and actions parents can take to reduce bullying. The web seminar will be delivered by renowned bullying expert Dr. Shelly Hymel, PhD who will present a highly interactive session with plenty of time devoted to answering participants’ questions. Don’t miss this event – chances are your child is experiencing bullying. This is your chance to find out how you can help.

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Sue Scheff: What is Google Saying About You

Source: Porfolio.com

Forget your references, your ­résumé, and the degree on your wall. “Whatever’s in the top 10 ­results of a search for your name on Google—that’s your [professional] image,” says Chris Martin, founder of the small internet company Reputation Hawk, which is one of several outfits that focus on keeping that top 10 clean for their clients.

For victims of cyber-slurs, cleanup doesn’t necessarily mean removing bad press. Companies like eVisibility, Converseon, and 360i concentrate on generating ­positive content—but not too much at one time. If Google detects a ­sudden flood of suspicious Web postings, it will assign them low trust scores, preventing them from rising to the top of search results.

Nino Kader, CEO of International Reputation Management, uses a positive-content approach, calling its strategy a mix of “old-school PR and high tech.” The firm builds social profiles (on MySpace or Facebook) for clients and promotes them to blogs; it also drafts news releases and solicits coverage from traditional press outlets. Scrubbers generally work on retainer and charge anywhere from $500 to $10,000 a month.

A handful of scrubbers do try to actually remove negative content, using coercion, compromise, and occasionally cash. A first step is to contact the website and ask that the harmful post be removed. “For us to pay the site for removal is very uncommon, but less than 1 percent of the time, we have to do it,” says ReputationDefender CEO Michael Fertik, whose company charges a monthly fee and $30 for each item they persuade a website to remove. If a site refuses to erase an offending post, the next step is to negotiate a compromise. Ask the site administrator to substitute a screenshot for the actual text of the harmful post (a screenshot is an image, so the words no longer register as text to Google and won’t come up in a search).

When it comes to your online image, these companies argue that no one can afford to shrug off a slight. As Fertik says, “The people who are reading stuff about you on the internet don’t have to believe what they read about you beyond a reasonable doubt.” They just have to believe it enough to not hire you.